The Blog Roll

Why Struggling Makes Us Stronger (and Successful!)

What Doesn't Kill You...

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"- we all say it, and sometimes in exasperation. Maybe because deep down, we know it's true. After all, whatever you were doing that gave you that near-death experience didn't actually kill you, did it? And, if you really take the time to reflect on that experience, it turns out, it wasn't so bad after all...

Opposition In ALL Things

Newton explained this perfectly in his 3rd Law of Physics which says that "For each and every reaction, there is an equal and opposite reaction".  An ancient prophet by the name of Lehi, taught his sons that "It must needs be that there is an opposition in ALL things. If not so... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness... neither good nor bad." Most often we resort to thinking that we cannot control this. But what if we can? Of course, it is a law- it is unchangeable, but that is different than being uncontrollable. A body builder or weight lifter controls the force of the opposition he faces by the heaviest or lightest weight he chooses to lift. A butterfly develops the strength it needs to survive in its habitat by successfully controlling the force it exhibits in breaking free of it's confining cocoon. We naturally do the same thing. And the percentage at which we resist or oppose the force before us, will be the amount that we get in return. You get out what you put in, right?
Over time, this force we are opposing becomes easier to oppose. Why is that?

Forcing Functions

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but the power to do has increased." 
- Ralph Wald Emerson


Emerson is saying that as we consistently and committedly continue BEING and DOING what we want to become and achieve, it will become easier. This act of doing something in spite of, or even because of opposition is called a forcing function.
A forcing function in behavior is, "A behavior-shaping constraint; a task, activity or event that forces you to take action and produce a result".
It's when we do something we aren't naturally inclined to do- like get up in the wee hours of the morning to go for a run, or call a friend we haven't spoken to in a while, or even talking to someone as we ride the elevator on our way to work. All of these things require a certain amount of forcing ourselves to overcome our comfort level- to stretch, improve, and become someone more than we currently are. And the rate at which we force ourselves to do that thing, is the rate of success that will be returned.

These forcing functions are what we do everyday that lead us to reaching our goals.
Want to lose weight? You force yourself  resist that cupcake at work.
Want to make friends or be more social? We strike up conversation with the person sitting next to us on the train.
Want to run a 5K or more? You force yourself to get up and go for a run before the kids wake up.

Does it get easier? No. Even the most successful business leaders have said that it sucks. It's hard to get out of that comfortable bed no matter who you are or how long you've done it. The difference between those who are successful at it and those who are not? It's the euphoria that comes from accomplishing something difficult, and having power over that thing, rather than falling victim to it.
The high that comes from that power is what success thrives on- facing those difficulties KNOWING you can conquer them, and using them to your advantage. Again and again. And again.
Then, you'll go for a run- or walk- because, well, you got out of bed. It's a goal you've set. So you go.
When you get home, your endorphins are high. You choose to eat an apple, or scrambled eggs, or even a salad, because that's how your feeling. Where did all of this energy come from you ask yourself? You've created this for yourself! And your addiction to those endorphins will become the catalyst for the next day and the next... if you WANT them to be. See... successful people become addicted to the feeling they get as a result of forcing functions.

All week long I have struggled to get out of bed and continue my training for a triathlon in the Spring. I've only put in half the effort that I could and should be giving. I've even considered the thought that it's just too hard, and I don't have the time to do it right now. Those thoughts lasted about a millisecond, because I WANT to do this- regardless of what I know about the triathlon, or how hard the training is going to get. Nothing will be as hard as quitting when I know that I CAN do it.

And so can you.

Can I really start my success by simply getting out of bed? YES. And when you start your day of with having that under your belt, the rest of your difficult tasks don't seem so difficult. And, how you choose to use the first 5 minutes of your day will set the tone for your remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes.

CALL TO ACTION

Opposition literally makes us stronger, no matter how much we might dislike it. It's how we learn to thrive. Forcing functions is key to successfully using that opposition to our advantage. Use it, or lose it.

I'm not asking you to just believe my words. Belief without action is just a vision. But a vision of what you want, who you are to become, is how it begins. Now let's put it into action.

What does this have to do with health?  EVERYTHING.

If you are reading this, then you have some amount of desire to achieve some level of health- mental, physical, emotional or spiritual- however humble that amount might be.

Now set a goal. Not just a "I'm going to get up and go for a run, or eat a salad for a week" goal. A BIG, goal. Something that requires thoughtful sacrifice on your part, EVERY SINGLE DAY. A goal that requires you to look forward a month, 6 months, or a year. Now you have a big picture. You have your WHAT. Determining your HOW will come easy now.

Don't wait until the New Year to begin working towards your goal, start today. Just think how amazing it will be to look back and see where you've come from by the time January 1 hits, instead of complaining about how you wish things were different.

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now." - Chinese Proverb

I have a few goals for the New Year that have already begun. One is to train for and complete an Ironman 70.3 in May. Another is to read 25 books. I am also practicing the piano, and want to learn a certain classical song through next year. I am also working to help Enzo walk by his birthday.

What are your goals, or what do you want them to be? Your health and happiness will transform into experiences and success you didn't before think was possible, but you did. And they are!



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