Why Quality and Actions Trump Personality, and How to Make Your Dreams Reality

HOW TO GO FROM "NO WAY!" to "I DID IT!"

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. 

-Albert Einstein

I will admit, I have been in a funk lately. It feels good to admit it. I have been trying to push back the feelings and ignore them, almost like a mosquito's bite, but the itch comes creeping back, and bringing with it its partners of destruction, distraction and discouragement. The more I sat down to write, and I wanted to, I found something else that "needed" to be done- and then felt discouraged when I couldn't find time the rest of the day to sit and compose my thoughts. 

"I'm just not doing it at the right time of day", I thought. And, "If I sit here long enough, it'll come to me." But it never did. Again, and again. And I wondered if it was even in my personality to be able to deliver a heart-felt, well-drafted article that would be as valuable to you, as I am hopeful that it will. 

"Don't Change the method to Fit the Personality"

I have been reading a lot lately. I am drawn to learning, and implementing the unique perspective and universal truth I learn from every article, hardcover, or audio book. My "AH-HA!" Moment came today as I was reading The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. Look, I enjoy cleaning as much as the next person (sometimes less, and sometimes more- ESPECIALLY when my youngest, Enzo, decides to pull all of the folded laundry from its tidy place in the laundry basket; I have NO choice but to put it away if I want it to STAY folded!), but thankfully this is about more than just cleaning. When I read in the 1st Chapter of her book that it is not through the change of personality, but of action that we find success (in this case, in cleaning).

I almost jumped out of my chair with excitement, peanut butter sandwich in hand as I was feeding Enzo. "YES!!" Of course. This really resonated with me. Why was I still entertaining the erroneous thought that it was not something I could change? 

I have pondered what this means other areas of my life that do not consist of cleaning; my eating habits? my exercise? Will I run now with more purpose and excitement, instead of the hope that something good will come of it? I am not AT ALL saying that hope is futile. On the contrary, hope is what leads us to action; FAITH is hope in action because we hope that what we are doing will bring us the desired results. Now can take this a step further and say that we KNOW that our actions will bring us our desired results? 

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.  

-Dalai Lama

This is what Tony Robbins calls the "Quality Quantifier". With anything we choose to do in life, there is a quality and quantity associated with it. The goal is to CHANGE to objects and experiences. For example, you have decided this year that you are going to work on your relationship with your husband, wife, or significant other. What does that improvement look like? Will you plan the same kind of date night and hope that it will yield greater results than you have previously gotten out of it? What are you willing to put into that date night to get an improvement out of it? Will you send flowers, go out for a nice dinner, or to a place you've always wanted to go together but didn't think it was "worth it"? Will you make it an experience worth remembering; an experience that invokes an increase of love and thoughtfulness for the time and effort you put in to the experience?

This effort, now quantified changes our perspective on the experience because we have a positive vision of the outcome we desire. We now KNOW that we are going to get a "10" rating of our experience because we have VISUALIZED and PLANNED it to be so. 

This is where a positive vision- a deep sense of WHY we are doing something, and the strategic plan we put into practice will trump the inaccurate assumptions that "I was not meant to do that"; or, "It's just not in my personality" EVERY SINGLE TIME.

ACTION STEPS

1. State Your Desired Intent

Begin today to find something in your life- your nutrition, your fitness, your relationships- that you want to upgrade. What do you want to improve about them? What about improving them is so important to you? Ask yourself that question. Then ask it again, and again, placing the response of the previously asked question in the next one. You'll discover that losing 10 or 20 pounds isn't just because you want to lose 10 or 20 pounds. You'll find something much deeper than that.

2. Get Specific

When do you want to accomplish this by? 3 month from now? 6 months? Give yourself a deadline. Now, plan it out. What do you have to do every week to make this happen? Remember, YOU are CREATING your world, your successes! You can do ANYTHING when your vision, your why, and your commitment are put into practice!

3. Practice, Practice, Practice.

We all know it. Consistency to our commitment yields the desired results. Remind yourself EVERYDAY of the VALUE of your actions, and the closer you become to your goals, the fewer choices you will make that take you in the opposite direction, and the greater your desire and ABILITY  to reach your goals will become real. 

Can dreams come true? Well, you decide.

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